As seen on Facebook and elsewhere

I know it's sexist. And Stereotypical. But a lot of it is often true, too. I know i can relate to numbers 1, 3 and sometimes 6 although number 8 is a bit strong.

(1) Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they
are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just
say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true,
unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not
thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a
'whatever').

(8) Whatever:
Is a woman's way of saying
F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something
that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it
herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the
woman's response refer to # 3.

(no subject)

I was standing at the bus stop by the grocery store near my house. Minding my own business. As you do. I heard a car horn go off but i didn't look around. None of my business, right? Then i heard my name! I looked out and there was my mother leaning out of the passenger window of a car and waving frantically, pointing to the parking lot behind me. Okayyyy.... I walked back to the parking lot and she and the driver pulled in. I couldn't see who it was at first but the closer they got i realized it was a man. A man i didn't know. At least not from my angle and distance. Wha??? The first thought that i had, though, was that it was a neighbour. Turns out it was my cousin Ken! He lives in Calgary but was here visiting his dad. Mom had asked him to drive her to the garage where her car was getting a new tailpipe put on. He's such a nice guy, too. And tall. Very tall. He laughed, saying when he asked Mom if she needed anything, she asked him for a favour. Ah, he thought, she needs me to reach something high. They all want that. But no. She needed a lift and he was happy to oblige. We didn't have a lot of a chance to chat but we did for a few minutes while Mom was paying for her car. Too bad i didn't realize he was home this week, but he's leaving to go back tomorrow.