The Voice Of Reason

I can't at this moment think of anything i hate worst than undecorating a Christmas tree, specifically taking the lights off. I know i will laugh at this later so go ahead if you want to..... Taking the ornaments off.. no problem. Of course i am unwinding the lights in the same order i put them on instead of starting at the end and unwinding backwards so that when i twisted the lights around a branch it doesn't come off easily. Don't ask. Just humour me. I'm attempting to keep the strings from being tangled so i'm wrapping them very loosely around my neck as i go and then i get the bright idea (lights, geddit?) of pulling the tree out from the corner which works for awhile but when i try to move it again, two of the stand legs come away from the stand so i'm left trying to untangle lights from a tree that i have to hold up with one hand or it's going to fall over. It's too heavy to get it back on the unattached legs. Meanwhile, i'm moving around it and trying desparately not to become one with the tree as the lights around my neck seem to be grabbing on to the branches as i go. I feel like i could end up wound tightly to the fucker like something Chevy Chase would do in Christmas Vacation! But i manage to avoid that little embarassing moment though i'm slightly hoarse from several judiciously places FUCK's when it's evident that the lights prefer the tree to the box. My patience does not runneth over at the best of times.

Anyway, the bastard is bare and in pieces in it's battered box. I'm throwing it to the wolves... I need a new one or at least a different one and my cousin says i can have hers because she's getting a newer one from someone else. Her's is nice so will hopefully have that for next year or i will get a new one. Now whoever said artificial trees are better than real ones because there's no mess from the needles needs to come see the sorry state my carpet is in. Must get out the vac.

Still bloody snowing. I'd rather have been out having a beer with Katherine than playing WWF with the tree but it had to be done sometime.