The Voice Of Reason

Bed was delivered about mid-morning. I managed to pull the old one apart and vaccuum and i got them Tim Horton's gift certificates for a tip, hoping they'd take the old bed down to the garage where the garbage is. I just didn't have time to try to see if anyone wanted to buy it and my nephew who might have taken it, didn't have a place to keep it. Anyway. The two delivery fellows were going to take it to the garage and one of them asked if he could take it since i was just tossing it anyway. Hell yes. I'd rather know someone was going to use it than A. throw it out and B. get in trouble for leaving it in the garage. I don't know if i would get in trouble but it's rather large, and i don't know if the garbage men would take it anyway. Ah well it's not an issue now anyway. It's gone to a new home. They had to come back later though because they forgot to leave the mattress pad cover thingy. Of course i'd already put the new sheets on the bed so i'll just wait until i change the sheets to put that on.The bed has a guarantee apparently that if the mattress cover gets stained they'll replace it and if the mattress gets stained they'll clean it or replace it. Works for me.

I finally got round to using my new dvd writer the other day. I made a region free copy of my Region 2 (Europe) Creature comforts dvd for my sister. i am using DVD Shrink which may or may not be downloadable anymore. Googling seems to indicate you can probably get it. It gets around the region encoding and the copyright because i tried to use Nero to copy the dvd and it wouldn't let me because of the copyright issue. I have a dvd rom in the computer already so i set that to R2 and left the new writer to R1 since those are the two regions i am most likely to buy dvd's from and indeed already own quite a few R2 dvd's (have my player hacked to play all regions). DVD Shrink compresses to fit a 4.7 gig disk but of course if you compress it too much the quality won't be great. It has a reauthoring feature that lets you gain more space by not copying things like extras and menus and you can also burn to an image and use Nero to copy the image to a dual layer dvd if your writer does that. DVD Shrink doesn't seem to work for a dual layer but perhaps it does if the blank media is dual i don't know.

But man oh man the dual layer blank disks are expensive!!! Whew! I priced them in Staples yesterday and they were about 60 bucks for 10 ! Lightscribe disks aren't even that expensive. I have some tutorials that show you how to make the "Please insert disk 2" frame using the reauthoring feature and that way you can split up a movie by the chapters. I may have to try that sometime. Regular dvd-r disks are pretty cheap. Superstore has them 50 for $20 and Staples has 50 for $25 plus tax. I did do a file backup onto a dvd as well, using Nero. I am going to have to try to use Nero to copy a dvd to see how it goes with one that doesn't have the copyright protection. I know, i know, i'll go to hell for it. And if i'm going to hell, i might as well investigate how to download movies and convert them and write them to dvd ;) from what i understand though, that's more involved.

They're changing our heating system in the apartment building to natural gas today. It's a bit disconcerting when there's someone sitting on a chair in the hallways ... is he waiting in case something blows up? lol! I don't know! Anyway, the heating was hot water baseboard heating and the pipes were always noisy in the walls, ticking and banging sometimes when the heat would go off. I'm hoping that will be a bit quieter and at least the gas supply isn't something that has to get filled all the time like oil tanks as i believe it's a direct supply. No running out of hot water anymore like has happened now and again. That morning cold shower doesn't exactly start my day on a positive note !

And yes, we're all doing ok. We talk about Dad and remember stories and things. I'm writing down memories in a journal so i can keep that with me. We are finding that although something will get us emotional, or sad, for the most part we're doing ok. I think it's because we have spent the last few months grieving already, and little by little, letting go. Dad is not suffering anymore and we all had our chance to say good bye in our own ways. I mentioned to a friend that sometimes it still doesn't seem real and she said that your heart doesn't have to know it's real because he's always going to be with me. That made me cry but it's a nice way of thinking about it and i can just let my heart tell my head to sod off. He's only gone phsyically. It's not always easy, and i'll miss him the rest of my days but he *is* within me. I am a lot like him in my personality and temprement. I am my father's daughter.

I heard Don't Stop (Fleetwood Mac) on the car radio on the way to the house this morning before the funeral. The lyrics are about looking forward, not backward and the line "All i want is to see you smile. If it takes just a little while" ... and i knew Dad was sending me another sign.

Everyone said it was a service that couldn't be more suited to Dad. His best friend's speech and mine and then his cousin singing Dad's favourite Slim Whitman song. I will post what i said later when i get home.

There were about 200 there, standing room only spilling out into the hall and into the room where we were sitting. There was two police cars blocking the traffic for when we came out (one of my cousins is a police officer). The line of cars stretched... well it had to be over half a mile, maybe more. We turned at the Forest Hills Parkway and the cars were still coming out of the funeral home parking lot and snaked all up the road. It was quite something to see. Dad would be impressed.

We got through it.

Dad's obituary in the paper today. It's only on one of the two daily papers, and the condolence link on the funeral home website doesn't have his name up yet so i emailed them to find out about it and i may ring them later this morning in case they don't check it right away. It may be that they only sent it to one paper not both and i don't remember if we specified both anyway. Feels unreal to see my father's obituary even if it's just on a website for now. There is a photo but the website doesn't publish those. I'll pick up the other paper later today.

blueberrymoon mentioned how in the first few weeks that you often will see little signs from the person who's died if you pay attention. Well last night there was definitely one of those signs. My oldest nephew Ryan put on one of Dad's old suits, and he looked resplendant in that dark suit, shirt and red tie. Wow! when did he grow up! I think he was feeling pretty fine in that suit too. Anyway he put his hand in the pocket and his face just froze in astonishment. He pulled out a (now i am sure i got the name of this wrong) merket. What it is, is a small black plastic doo-jiggy that dad always called a "piggy" and it's used to connect two bits of electrical wire. Dad was an electrician and we would find them all over the house, and always in the washing machine because they'd be in the pockets of his work clothes. Ryan also found a handful of them in the pocket of Dad's leather jacket but that wouldn't be unusual since Dad would have put stuff in his pockets when he went to someone's house to fix something. But a good suit??? We were all stunned the hair on the back of my neck was standing up, I tell you. You can't help but smile though.

Boy oh Boy has it been cold the last two days! We've had unseasonably warm weather, overcast, foggy, etc, but today and yesterday was very seasonal brrrr... But... back to warm (well, in the mid single digits) tomorrow. I can't imagine how we would have managed going back and forth to the hospital if we'd had bad weather.

I'm staying at Mom's tonight and driving Staci to school in the morning because Laurie is staying with Mom tonight at the hospital. But it looks like i have the house to myself for awhile at least because Staci is at her boyfriend's place and won't be back until about 11. I got to the hospital this morning just as Mom was coming out so i took her home so she could have a couple of hours sleep. Made her a cheese omelet and a cuppa first and we sorted out laundry to do before she lay down for awhile.

I installed my dvd writer yesterday and installed all the software that came with it. Also updated Norton and also did a windows update. Didn't reboot until this morning and when i got back home this afternoon, realized something had disabled the antivirus software, also a few other things that normall run on startup did not run. The dvd writer seemed ok lol though i haven't tried to write one, it does read ok. So i've spent the last 2 hours trying things, uninstalled, restoring, i don't know what else. Currently i have restored to before i installed the dvd writer software. Dvd's will run in it and play so i just have to figure out what part of Nero suite is the culprit. If i can't figure it out, i'll go looking for some other dvd writing software that also does lightscribe though it's possible that the label maker that came with the dvd writer is ok, and it's just the Nero. I dunno. Process of elimination i think. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

So the order of the day was celebrating Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary. Dad was sleepy, having taken an ativan so he wouldn't cough so he was in and out. We gathered in the hospital room, exchanged cards and with a few close family and friends who visited through the afternoon, shared some cake. The room is now filled with flowers and cards. We did ok though were tearful over the cards but then we tend to get sentimental cards anyway. I had asked him a couple of weeks ago if he wanted me to get a card for her from him. I think he wasn't sure if he'd make it but i assured him he would, brought him in the card for him to sign. He forgot he had signed it and kept asking for it today so that he could. I don't know how long we will have him from here on, but i'm glad we will have this memory. I took a couple of photos, of Mom and some gifts, the cake and scanned their wedding photo.

There were three couples that visited, his brother and wife, their best friends and his cousin and his wife. His cousin, Ed, even raised a smile on his face! Mom had them stagger the visits so everyone wouldn't come at the same time and overwhelm him plus of course the room isnt' that big. A bit later someone came by and they had a brand new lovely bed for Dad. The only drawback is that moving him out of one bed and into the other started him coughing. By then though the company had gone and he'd started to settle down a bit with a bit more meds. I'm so glad he made it to today, as much for Mom's sake as anything. He's slipping away, we can see that. Now, i just want whatever time is left to be peaceful for him.

I've been so lucky. My parents have raised my sister and i as a team. Our home was always full of love and laughter and support. My parents have always been there for us, their family and friends. It's hard to say good bye but at least there are no regrets.

Dad was a bit tired yesterday. Had some coughing just before i got there but judging from the size of the bite out of the sandwich i'd say that was the culprit. But it's hard to say. It could also be his throat starting to tighten up again. Dunno. Take it day by day i guess.

Am taking Mom and Laurie to see my Aunt and cousin outside of the city a little ways. First i have to stop into the rental place because the windsheild wipers appear to be buggered. They didn't clean the screen very well last night though they were just fine the last time i drove it 2 days before that (Update: I called them and i have to take it to a place close to where my Mom lives so i'll do that before i go pick them up.)

My toaster didn't toast the top half of the bread today. Or yesterday come to think of it. I don't know if it was the bread or if it's the toaster. It's pretty old though. The toaster, not the bread. I could probably do with a new one so i think maybe i'll have a look tomorrow when i'm out shopping with Denise. *adds "toaster" to the list*

After i left the hospital, about mid afternoon, i thought i would go into the mall just out of curiosity. Didn't get farther than the parking lot which was a madhouse. It wasn't even that there were no parking spaces, or that the cars were seen stalking shoppers who left the stores so that they could get newly vacated parking spots, it was the people themselves that would run across in front of you willy nilly (Ha! didn't think i'd ever find a use for that expression! *snicker*). I wonder how many narrowly missed cases of fenderitis there were.

Party last night was very nice. Clearly it doesn't matter whether the house is small or palatially large (like last night's "venue"), parties pretty much stay in the kitchen. Now this kitchen and dining area is nearly the size of an apartment (and there's a formal dining room and living room in addition to a family room behind the kitchen which we did use for a bit but the bulk of the guests stayed in the kitchen). These were friends i've known no less than 25 years and a few of them for most or all of my life. sammantha you were missed as were another couple who have a disabled child and can't usually get a sitter. Usually just one comes or the other but i think they also had a very poorly old kitty they didn't want to leave. Aside from these, pretty much all the usual suspects where there. One discussion had us caught up short, and one guy said you know we used to talk about having enough money to put gas in the car and now we're talking about having enough money to retire! Shit! Now that makes you realize how much time has gone by! Most of us have been in the same jobs a long time and could take a retirement package within the next 8-10 years. Nobody that was there had grandchildren yet though. I don't think most of the group have kids old enough to potentially be parents other than my sister. Most of them didn't have their kids until well into their 30's.

All this palaver about making everyone feel included at Christmas? In the Grand Parade Square in downtown Halifax there is not only a Christmas tree but a huge menorah for Hanukkah which started the other day.

Got the car. another Sebring. Traffic was insane because everyone was getting off early. The grocery store was a madhouse.

Went to see Dad tonight. He had a rough patch when we got there. the move from the other hospital was hard on him and he was having breathing trouble but the doctor and nurses settled him down and the visit after that, with Mom, sis, me, Staci and Justin was good. He was back to himself again but seeing him the way he was when we got there really brings it home though. Anyway he's in a pallative unit in a private room which is decorated quite nicely. There was a volunteer that came in and brought him a cuppa tea and another one checking on him to see if he wanted anything. He was joking about the car too, "oh, Sebring the car?". *groan* That's when you really know he's feeling better.

Anyway, Link via sheepthief, This had me giggling too. Not sure i want to be on the receiving end of whatever that fellow has on his mind.

Brr... it's frosty out there but it hasn't snowed yet like it was forecast. Which was good because i got to go to the hospital after work. I took Dad in a small container of potato salad and a butter tart so if his supper looked like something the cat horked up like it did the other day, he'll have an alternative. He's had a lot of company the last two days so he was tired today. I didn't stay too long, just about 20 minutes or so. He was pleased to see me though :) I was the first visitor today. Mom had an earache and hadn't had much sleep last couple of nights so stayed home. He told me he had been thinking about something. See, Dad has always loved playing the lottery so he asked if i would get a lottery ticket every year on his birthday. *gulp* I think that would indeed be a nice thing to do, actually.

gramie_dee did some Photoshop wizarding to a scan of a photo of Dad i sent him and i had it printed to a 5x7 today and it looks very good! Mom wanted it for a frame for the service and to have after. I tried to find a frame on Spring Garden but the ones i liked they didn't have in the size i wanted. Just as well, i think Mom wants a silver frame for it anyway.

Half day at work tomorrow. Pick up the car, some groceries and go to Mom's. Maybe go to see my cousin tomorrow night, she's coming over for the weekend from PEI.

Our office party and gift exchange was this afternoon. We don't draw names, though. Everyone brings a gift for about 10-15 dollars and it goes under the tree anonymously. Names are drawn. You can either pick a gift from the tree or take one from someone else. Did i say this before? Hmmm anyway, If your name is one of the last ones, you get a lot to pick from and have a better chance at not losing the gift you chose. The majority of the gifts are alcoholic and there are always one or two of them that are popular and get "stolen" and traded around a lot. One of the earlier gifts was something i had my eye on and luckily, it wasn't that popular and my name was one of the last ones so Wahey i got it, a selection of three bottles of beer by Yorkshire brewery, Samuel Smith's. There is a bottle of Oatmeal Stout, Pale Ale and Nut Brown Ale.

Mom and i are doing $stuff tomorrow, visiting Dad and having lunch out somewhere. I have to pick up a rental car tonight and i think i'll pick up a small shovel and a few groceries. I may look into Staples at the computer chairs too because mine is getting pretty rocky and one of the adjustable arms seems broken. Staples is right next to the rental place so if i can get across traffic successfully, i will have a peek in there straight away then go over to Canadian Tire for the shovel. Should have a look at the dvd writers in there as well (Staples though they won't have as many as Future Shop).

I really have to get the rest of the gifts wrapped too, maybe i will do that on Sunday. Must also arrange to have lunch with one of my friends, for our gift exchange.

1. What's on your feet?
Christmas socks
2. Turn to your right -- what do you see?
entertainment unit and tv
3. What is the last thing you ate?
Pizza with extra cheese
4. What can you smell right now?
um nothing
5. Do you wear hats?
nope. don't like them much but i'll put my hood up in winter.

Busy day today. I got the car rental people to come pick me up. They upgraded me and the car is a full size one, same as Dad's, an Impala.
Met minivanmom at Tim's for a tea this morning and to give her a bag of stuff for the kids' school Christmas market.
Nipped up to Home Depot to check out the pointsettas for Mom but they weren't really that nice so i didn't get them.
Over to Sears to look at the artificial Christmas trees that are pre-lit. Most of them were pretty pricey but one was reasonable and though it wasn't on display, I was assured it was not as spindly and Charlie Brownish as the cheaper model on the floor. We'll see.
I left it there and popped over to the doctor's office for the annual PandP. Blood pressure up a little but acceptable she said, and unsurprising under the circumstances.
Back to Sears, stuff the boxed tree in to the trunk and up to Mom's.
Over to Halifax, visiting my broken-hip auntie briefly and then ...
over to the other hospital to see Dad for an hour. Poor man was worried, he thought we'd be there by 1 and it was 3. Mom had told him we were visiting his sister first but he didn't hear her. He said he hadn't really been able to eat today but Mom had brought over some homemade mac and cheese. She heated that up and he had no problem eating that. I think the problem was the uninspiriing hospital food.
Traffic was pretty heavy coming home but we made it and Laurie was there with pizza! Yay!
I came home about 6:30 because the snow had started and we're going to get a mess of it tonight. Driving was dicey but even more of a nuisance was dragging and hefting that silly box of tree across the parking lot! Talked to my cousin who invited me to a tree trimming party tomorrow night but it depends on the driving, whether i'll go or not. It would be nice to go and not have to worry about getting there and home and depending on others like in other years. Also she's got a new man and i'd like to have a peek.

Tomorrow i really have a lot of odds and ends around here to do including probably putting up the tree.

Phew!