(no subject)

[tvordlj]

Pissing down rain today. Never mind. We haven't had a lot of it this summer though not had a lot of really gorgeous summer weather either. It's all been a bit meh.

I think of my dad frequently but sometimes, too, not for a few days at a time. Yesterday and today, there were periods that the memories really came back strongly, for no apparent reason. I mean, there wasn't anything in particular that reminded me of something, these memories just popped up when I was reading or doing something else. When they hit strongly, they almost leave you breathless for a second while I gulp down that lump in my throat. It's been nearly 9 years so it's not as crushing as it used to be when that happens and I welcome the memories, I really do. Once I get past the surprise of the suddenness, the memories make me smile and they remind me of yet more things.

This morning's was actually triggered by something I was thinking. I'd bought new travel mugs and was thinking of how we would fill them before setting off on our road trip in September. That reminded me of the old Thermos bottles with the little plastic cup on top (they don't make 'em like that anymore!), the kind my dad took with his lunch pail every day and would he like the new type of travel mug with the sip-lid or would he still like the idea of pouring it into the cup and drinking it that way with his lunch. I can still see him fixing it in the morning, pouring in the milk first and then the tea from the glass pyrex teapot on the stove, the very same type I now have! I could picture him standing right there beside me doing it. While vivid memories like that make me a bit emotional and miss him a lot, they also make me smile and I'm glad I have them.

Comments

[sparklielizard.livejournal.com]

It's been six years here. It's something you don't ever get over really, but you can be happy again too of course. Like you I really welcome having nice old memories come back but it's bittersweet too. I've been thinking a lot about my dad of late and I think I still can't quite believe I won't see him again! My mind has clearly filed him away as being "elsewhere" but still ultimately visitable. Probably for the best really as I think it hurts too much to consider the enormity of never seeing somebody you love again. I'm not religious but it's over things like this I do envy those who are.

[tvor.livejournal.com]

I know. Sometimes it does hurt a lot that i'll never see him again but then I'll find a dime :) I am not particularly religious but I believe he's with me anyway and the memories and little signs that he's here are what get me through it. You're right, you don't get over it but you learn to live with it.

[(Anonymous)]

Came across a Thermos flask exactly like that when we were clearing out my Mum's cupboards a couple of years ago - the one we always took on holiday (aka road trip) when I was a boy, plus two other small ones in vibrant cheque patterns - one green, one orange, that I used to take to school and my Dad to work. It was a wrench throwing them out.

[john beresford (from livejournal.com)]

Sorry, that was me (above). Livejournal must've logged me out when I upgraded Chrome, or something.

[tvor.livejournal.com]

Ah ... thought it might have been my mother. LJ logs her out too